No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
