How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize