ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
