god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm jealous of your bromance
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
