Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
