I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
