I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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