Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
