im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
