So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
