If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Its about making memories worth repressing
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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