Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
