Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
