I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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