Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
