people are starting to question the shark bite story
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
