I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
