He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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