what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I still have a little drunk in my system
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
