for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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