Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
