I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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