Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
