i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
