covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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