At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
