Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
