The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
