My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
