You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize