just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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