i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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