Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My hand turned me down
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
