Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
