didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize