she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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