you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think I sprained my soul last night
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
BRING THE BAGELS
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
