Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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