Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
