We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
