The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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