I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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