You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
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