Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
