You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
