Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
