My vagina just recognized that song.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
