don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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