We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Porn is love you can see.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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