Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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