Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
