This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
