All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
