Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
