The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
