Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
