Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
