well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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