my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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