Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize