honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
