We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
