I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
