Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
id be glad to
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
