Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
