Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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