is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
