We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
