bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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