i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
