So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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