Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Randomize
