saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So many bounce houses so little time
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
